Things No One will Tell Fat Girls

Ok, Here goes....

I'm FAT.
F
A
T

*deep sigh of relief*

I've never been able to say that - really SAY it.

I began following the body love movement much later than I should've. I might have saved myself a bit of grief had I just realized that there are other women out there [other PEOPLE - this is not exclusive to women] who found themselves thinking and saying the same things I have my entire life.

It actually started with Tess Holiday.
I saw a photo of her on a random trending site and had to take a second look.
Oddly, I found myself mortified by her. By the fact that she could stand there, in all her glory, looking the way she does and give zero fucks.
Deep down, I was more envious than I could ever explain.
I pride myself on being strong, and loud and open to just about everything - but the reality, I'm still avoiding photos - deleting those that are from the "wrong" angle [which is most] and saying "Do I REALLY look like that?!??!1" When I do see photos.

A few months ago I was with my mother shopping during a visit at Forever 21.
We edged into the Plus Size section and found that feeling of being embarrassed that I was shopping in that area. Why? I don't know - I wear those sizes!!!!
My mother picked up a bathing suit [a two piece] and says: "Does a girl who wears this size really think she should be wearing this anywhere?!?!?" and laughed.
The hurtful thing?
I just bought that same swimsuit - in that size & wore it on my vacation to Mexico.

But don't hate on my mother.
She struggles with self body hate.
She is in constant recovery from a lifelong battle with anorexia.
A fight that she almost lost when I was a child and was a whooping 75lbs at 5'6

But I don't want to talk about that.
Not right now.

I want to talk about how I just finally picked up Jes Baker's book:  "Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls
I've only a couple of chapters in and I find myself saying "YES! GOD YES!" so many times.
It's as though she's in my head - understanding every thought - every time I slouched and tried to disappear in a crowd. Every time I passed up opportunities to do things I by all rights should've done.
Men I should've dated. Ug. So much wasted time!

But no more.

If you are a girl who has ever had issues with self love; hated her body for being her body and just wants to get off the diet culture and fall back in love with life - READ THIS BOOK.

I'm ready for change.